Friday, January 9, 2009

How to Have Good Rapport with Others

How to have good rapport with people. It is simple really. Talk to others about their interest, their feelings, their life. Be truly interested in their problem. We always have to watch for that double conversation in your head. the one we are having with our conversation partner, and the one we are having with our own, private, inside the head, conversation partner. the one who is telling "Oh my, what a terrible thing to do! Who does he/she think he is to tell others these kinds of things? I'd never do that! This one is so cheap! This one is so obnoxious! What a bad temper!, etc."
This kind of private auto-conversation is the number one enemy of having a good rapport with others. We have to be detached form our own personal judgments toward anyone.
When you get yourself genuinely more interested in others, good surprises may very likely happen to you . Not only the fact that people will invite you more often, that they will introduce you to their own friends as their friend, but they also may do you favors, and help you in whatever situation you may need some support. Of course the core motive in being authentically interested in others is for the sake of humanity and good relationships with our friends, and fellow humans.
Try to say nice things to cashiers, tellers, etc. a simple kind word, a compliment, a praise will always be welcome. If one is kind of stressed and tired, a simple "You don't have to hurry , just take you time" will just do. These people don't get enough praise, may have had some rude customers before you, may be pressed and urged by their supervisors, or just plainly don't like much their job. Let's try to cheer them up. Make them smile, by being thoughtful and "human."
A small praise can go a long way.

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